August 2024 Week 4

I was listening to a meditation this week and it stated the definition of patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. In addition I read something from my favorite Melody Beattie meditation book in class all week “My Destiny is Now”. These 2 items made me think about our intention - My New Life Begins Now. What if my new life is my life as it is right now, without waiting for something to happen. What if my destiny is that I am right here, right now patiently accepting life as it is?
I have been repeating all month the intentions for this summer and the way they have built up to this month: June - I Am Grounded - allowed us to get connected with ourselves and our integrity. July - I am Letting Go and I am Letting in - coming from a grounded place gave us the internal bandwidth to let go of what no longer served us, freeing up space to let in……to let in what?? August!! My New Life Begins Now. Has this resonated with you in any way? I am not sure I can express in words, but I feel like I have had a major shift this summer and I want to own it here with you, so here goes.
It started last summer or maybe even I should go back further to 4 years ago when I was finishing up my cancer treatment, knocking down our house, building a new one and committing to a major move from NJ to RI - all during COVID, hormone imbalance, achy joints, anxiety and sleep deprivation from these life events and a medication with those side effects. To put it mildly, I was not myself. For the last 3 years, I have looked back on the perfect storm of a particular month with extreme remorse. They say pain is the key to growth and change, well this was excruciatingly painful and pushed me to something I didn’t know I needed or didn’t have. There was a lack of…corny yup but here goes…..simply put, self love and this past year I made it my goal to uncover this for me. Perfectionism, perseverance, drive, determination - all qualities that helped me survive in my youth. Well they say what helped us survive does not help us thrive. These traits have made me “my own worst hanging judge” and it has driven me to a level of busyness - to be, do and experience which is all amazing, but can often be physically and emotionally exhausting. I didn’t realize that I often look outside myself for verification and stimulation, even though I diligently start my day in prayer and meditation and connection with me. I took these intentions this summer and truly got grounded and connected to who I am and what is important. From there I was able to let go of the expectations I set on myself and shed some of the extra “noise”. What did I let in? What is my new life? I have gotten connected with myself on a deeper level as well as the God of my understanding through a lot of diligent work and I feel like it is paying off as I go through this month and embrace myself fully, my life fully and all that it is as well as all that it is not. There is such a level of freedom in this and again I am not sure I am able to express it here. The level of connection with myself and my higher power is truly enough for me and gives me the ability to navigate my days with more integrity than ever before - I do hope and pray that this is not a blip but truly My New Life beginning now!!!