April 2023 Week 4

Radical acceptance….what do you think?

If we are to live as if “Everything is unfolding exactly as it should” we will need some level of acceptance!

I was listening to a Palm Sunday homily from Fr Mike Schmitz and he had so many things to say on this topic that I wanted to share his thoughts along with mine this week.
He stated that acceptance is not approval. Seems obvious right? Yes and no as I think sometimes we dig our heals in and resist life rather than accept it because it is absolutely not acceptable to us, we do not approve of what is going on.
Well we have all had moments, big and small, when life is not going our way. If we can move into acceptance in these times, Fr Mike says acceptance does 3 things:
1st it acknowledges the struggle.
2nd it acknowledges that we don’t want “this”, we are not saying “X” is happening, but its ok, I’m fine. We acknowledge this sucks, I wish it were otherwise.
And, 3rd it acknowledges “I don’t want X”, It’s not good, BUT it’s come to me. This 3rd piece is very important because the alternative is resisting reality!!!
Resisting reality does not get us anywhere and it keeps us stuck. What is the use of wishing it were different? It’s pointless, however how often do we get stuck in the repetitive looping thoughts of wishing it were different? Thinking, replaying on and on!!!!!
Radical acceptance asks us to accept without conditions, not I will accept it if “Y” happens.

How about the blessings and the gifts in our lives? How are you doing with radical acceptance of the good?
How are you doing with radical acceptance of your challenges - fears of parts of life unfolding, personal weaknesses or faults from the past?
Take a moment to get honest with yourself.

Now here is the magic……
Only when we radically and completely accept all of life - good and bad - can we engage in life. This is just like the Japanese art form, Kintsugi, I wrote about earlier in the month. If we resist reality, if we resent reality, we will never be able to fully engage in reality and if we are not fully engaged in reality then we are unable to be fully engaged (on a conscious or unconscious level) in all the gifts and joys of our lives. We can’t have all the “good” if we are unwilling to accept and embrace the “bad”.

DO you have any reference for a challenging time in your life and the ruminating thoughts that consumed you, taking you out of the present of the rest of your life. I for one truly want to be fully engaged in my life!!! I wrote last week about some challenges I am having post cancer and of course these intentions always help me see clearly my problems and my solutions. Today I will make the shift, with awareness, to radical acceptance - good and bad!!!!!