May 2022 week 4

As we continue our work on the Yama’s lets remember- Asteya, non stealing - at its very foundation is about believing the universe or God (whatever you believe in) will take care of our needs and then we try to act accordingly. We use these dharma writings as our guide to examine our habitual thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs.

Let’s look at Asteya from the angle of stealing from our own lives. In all the ways that we impose an outside image of ourselves onto ourselves we are stealing from the unfolding of our own uniqueness. All demands and expectations that we place on ourselves steal from our own enthusiasm. All self-sabotage, low self-esteem, judgements, criticisms, and demands for perfection are forms of self abuse in which we destroy the very essence of our vitality.
Asteya asks us to get excited about the possibilities for our own lives!!! When we attend to our own growth and learning in the areas of our interest, we are engaged in the joy and challenge of building ourselves. Further, if we live fully developing our selves, our talents, our skills, our spiritual conditions - we automatically serve the world rather than stealing from it.
Deborah Adele uses a really helpful analogy for this side of Asteya. She tells the story (I will paraphrase but giving her full credit for the concept): In India during major festivals, elephants are paraded down narrow streets dressed with silk and jewelry. The streets are full of vendors with treats and sparkling jewelry and the elephants swing their trunk trying to grab one of these treats creating chaos and destruction. However, the trainers know that if they give the elephants a bamboo shoot to wrap their trunk around, they march down the street focused on carrying the bamboo shoot and cause no harm. We can be like the elephant when we don’t know what we want or have the courage to pursue it, everything that everyone else is doing looks tempting to us. We want what others have and get sidetracked from our own dreams and realness. But, when we focus on our own dreams and move from a place of connection with our true self, we can move forward with dignity like the elephant carrying the bamboo.

This of course is timely for me once again, geez I still have a lot of issues. I have been in a place of self judgement, criticism and hence confusion and maybe even a little“dullness” here or there. Thankfully, at least I am not behaving like the elephant and distracted by people and situations around me, but what I am doing is using the unsettled feelings, which always originate by some form of fear: remember - my fear reveals to me what needs to be healed. I want to look at this period as a gift, that through the discomfort I get to un peel another layer of complicated me lol! On the other side of the work and the discomfort is an opportunity to embrace me and my life and then to live it more fully and joyfully in the moment.

This Yama also asks us to focus on our desires and then build the competency to have them. We are reminded we cannot just think we are entitled and deserve something without putting in the work. Adele said “our outcomes in life are consistent with our abilities, not necessarily our wishes or goals.” Kind of deflating? Harsh? Not really, what this is really trying to do is once again quiet the ego voice and right size ourselves. Also, to take responsibility for our lives - we can have hopes, dreams and goals but it doesn’t end there - we need to put in the work - that creates the competency. Competency also includes the ability to see what is right before us. Adele says: “I used to tell the story that I worked hard and prayed hard, but never really got what I was after. Now as I look back, I understand that I didn’t have the `competency to see that what I had worked for and asked for was right in front of me and I couldn’t contain it or sometimes even see it.”
Are we sometimes so far from our true identity, “stealing” from others and other situations that we miss the goals and the gifts right in front of us? Yikes, once again right on target for me!!! Right now I am so focused on one relationship being “not right as far I am concerned” (as if I know - problem #1, I think I know lol) and I am sometimes missing all the people and the gifts right in front of me. Internally I think I won’t be ok until this one relationship is sorted out the way I want it, I am completely robbing myself of people and experiences that are right in front of me. Not all the time, but it is there and it is so uncomfortable because I have enough awareness to know exactly what is going on inside of me. So my work is to yes identify these shadow parts of me, maybe share them with someone and then move on with the non judgemental awareness I prompt all of you to use with self study. Today, My fears certainly are revealing to me what needs to be healed and what needs to shift in me so I can be present for all the gifts and joys right in front of me, no matter what! Happiness is conditional and therefore fleeting, but true Joy comes from the very essence of our being and is ours for the taking if we do the work and connect with ourselves and our God…as a friend says…early and often!