December 2024 Week 1

How did we get to December already, yikes! In the Christian calendar this year December 1st fell on a Sunday which makes it the first Sunday in the season of advent. In a broader sense the word advent is defined as: the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event. This is a busy time of year for many of us and one that can be filled with distractions and exhaustion or feelings of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Last month I wrote a very lengthy reflection on my “holy pilgrimage” and my coinciding 5 year anniversary of breast cancer. I will continue now with my personal reflection in conjunction with our new intention.
As I always say, my intentions become very relevant for me and this one is no different except for the fact that I made a quick swap from what I had prepared to something I heard last week that I need right now. Our intention is: Pause what a pleasure! This can be taken in so many ways. This is a busy season, can we pause and reflect? Can we pause and take time out for ourselves? Can we pause and shift from FOMO to JOMO (the joy of missing out)? Are you in “hopeful” anticipation of something like the season of advent? As of right now that is where I am and I am trying to stay in the hope.

Last Monday on my 5 year anniversary I wrote and then sent out my reflection on my 5 years, culminating with our holy pilgrimage. Well God has some plan for me, just as I felt relief and settled in my heart and soul he tested me and “stirred the pot!” I will spare the details, but last Monday I spent the day at the oncologist office and am currently waiting on results from a biopsy. The doctors are assuring me that this is NOTHING to WORRY about, they are just being extra cautious with me and my history. Ok, nothing to worry about is a little easier said than done. I did a pretty good job of it through the holiday week with my boys home but now I anxiously await results. Now for the intention: Pause What a Pleasure. Hmmmm? I am certainly pausing in a not so great way - pausing celebrating my health, pausing feelings of joy in this season that I love more than any, pausing in fully enjoying an overnight in NYC with my husband for our 30th wedding anniversary. Those are not “pausing pleasures”, so now the work - how can I shift this?
I can thank the God of my understanding for the faith journey I have had over the past 5 years that has brought me to a deeper understanding and connection which allows me to lean into the support of my faith. I can pause before I start each day and sit in meditation, journaling and spiritual readings to fill myself up. I can pause in this busy season and learn the lesson of accepting life not going as I had planned or as I would like at this moment. (And as I reflect on that, my husband and my boys are my best teachers in accepting life on life’s terms in the moment.)
I can also pause and change my story - when life gets uncertain we often project the worst case scenario but as a friend reminded me last night, I was the one who told her years ago - why can’t we project the best case scenario? So I am looking at this as a lesson in patience (something I prayed for on my trip), acceptance and even humility. On Monday a book arrived that I forgot I ordered - Slowing Down to The Speed of Joy, the simple art of taking back your life by Matthew Kelly. I have not started the book yet, but after writing this I will dive in. Today I am trusting the God of my understanding is asking me to slow down to the speed of Joy, to truly leave in November all that I lightened during our time together and to leave in Lourdes the heaviness in my heart and soul that I shed. These 5 years has been an incredible journey of uncovering more layers of myself and I cannot believe God at this point wants anymore than for me now to live in the humility, grace and joy of all of that work. This moment is just a test, a pause for me. Lucky me, what a pleasure!