October 2024 Week 2

Please be with me in this quote from Barefoot, a story from surrendering to God which is the 3rd book in the sensible shoes series. This quote clearly references a religious God, but we in yoga as spiritual students know that we can replace the religious God with anything as long as it is not us - Great OutDoors always works. Here goes:
“She knew her honest version of that verse most days: For God alone my soul doesn’t wait in silence, for my hope is not from him. Instead of waiting for God in hope and peace, she waited with agitation, restlessness, and anxiety. Even with everything she had seen about God’s faithfulness, even with everything she’d experienced the past few months about God’s presence and love, she still found it hard to trust. So that’s what she was learning to offer—the truth. To God. To others. To herself. No denying her fears. No stuffing her sorrow. All the anxiety and the heartache, the regret and the guilt, the longings and the desires, the wrestling and the sin, the past and present and future—all of it belonged to God. All of it.” This excerpt is so perfect for our intention and me this month as it references trust and this woman’s lack of it. Our intention: Please Get Out Of The Way, You Are Slowing God Down invites us to let in trust and to put aside self reliance.
OK so my truth…..I just returned from NYC and a slew of doctor checkups and tests as I approach my 5 year mark post breast cancer. I heard recently when you have your health, you have 1,000 wishes and wants and when you don’t have your health you have 1. Well of course as those appointments approached I drew up worst case scenarios and moved right out of trust and faith. It is earily familiar to 5 years ago when my husband and I were new empty nesters and we were traveling a bit and enjoying life, and then I was diagnosed. This fall he is newly retired and we have been traveling and have many plans upcoming and I thought oh boy here we go again. So all was well yesterday and last night my mind skipped back to a couple of the 1,000 wants and wishes - seriously Karen???? Lol. This is why I absolutely love and must continue teaching and writing. I made my way to class this morning and of course found myself saying all I needed to hear. As I always say, I am grateful I know how to get back on track and I know what my “back on track” is. For today I am going back into the “hopeful anticipation” (a student Lorraine’s favorite takeaway from this summers classes) and the idea that I DON’T KNOW what is best or right - I just need to trust, show up and enjoy every moment because the last 2 days my 1 wish/want was fulfilled!